Romance Fraud: One Woman’s Journey from Target to Survivor
A six-month romance fraud dismantled Kirsty’s finances, her sense of self, and nearly her life.
Episode 55: In this deeply moving episode, Erin West speaks with Kirsty Guest — a single mother of four from the UK — about the romance fraud and psychological manipulation that upended life as she knew it.
Kirsty’s story is not a cautionary tale about carelessness. She is a businesswoman, a devoted parent, and a survivor of domestic abuse. And she was deliberately targeted by a criminal who studied her vulnerabilities and exploited them with the patience and precision of a professional.
If her story sounds familiar — whether it happened to you, someone you love, or someone you work with — know that you are not alone. It was not your fault.
What makes this episode essential listening is the granular, step-by-step account Kirsty offers of how the fraud unfolded. She starts with the first “hello” on a dating app and guides us through to the fabricated hospital emergency, the fake Cypriot bank account, the manufactured silences designed to make her feel at fault, and ultimately the loss of more than £80,000 (US$107K).
Kirsty describes the creeping isolation, the inability to eat or sleep, the withdrawal from family and friends, and the moment she found herself ready to end her life. She also describes what pulled her back: a sister who showed up every morning, a father who simply sat with her, and the fierce decision to walk into a police station and say the words out loud.
Chronology of a Romance Scam
Kirsty's story begins in June 2023, when she joined a dating app following the end of a long and abusive marriage. She was cautious at first, finding the experience unfamiliar and intimidating. Then a man identifying himself as “Liam” — well-spoken, attentive, and apparently local — began messaging her. He asked about her children, he told her to drive safely, and they spoke for hours at time about nothing in particular. Weeks passed before he suggested moving the conversation to WhatsApp, a pacing that felt reassuring rather than rushed.
By the time he announced a business trip abroad, Kirsty already felt a strong emotional connection between them.
Three days into the trip, Liam went silent. When he finally reappeared, he claimed he had been mugged, was hospitalized, and needed help moving money from his online banking account because he couldn’t access it himself. The account — a convincing fake — showed a balance of 650,000 euros and months of transaction history. Kirsty moved 85,000 euros in two transfers on his behalf, believing she was helping the man she loved reach home.
What followed was a six-month escalation of manufactured crises, each logically connected to the last. Hospital bills. Hotel fees. A passport replacement. A blocked account requiring an in-person visit to a bank in Cyprus. Each delay was accompanied by warmth when Kirsty complied and sharp, familiar-sounding cruelty — echoing her ex-husband’s voice — when she hesitated or made a “mistake.” From her business account, Kirsty sent money to a rotating series of payees. No bank alert ever fired. By December 2023, she had transferred more than £80,000 and was financially and emotionally destroyed.
Kirsty’s sister had quietly saved a photo of “Liam” from early in the relationship. She eventually tracked down his real identity through social media. Kirsty’s initial response was denial and anger — a very common response tied to psychological hold these fraudsters maintain on their targets.
It took weeks more before Kirsty could accept what had happened. On a snowy morning just before Christmas, she drove to a police station, shaking and barely able to speak, and reported the crime. Initially dismissive, the officer realized the scope of the crime and referred the case to international fraud investigators. Kirsty spent nearly seven hours giving her statement. She came home and hit the lowest point of her life. Her father arrived at her door that night and stayed. Her sister called every morning. Slowly, she began to recover — and to fight.
“Targets of fraud need to know that they feel they are safe, that they are not alone, and that someone will listen without saying, “How could you fall for such a thing?” —Kirsty Guest
Today, Kirsty is an advocate working to change the language used by banks, law enforcement, and the media when they talk about romance fraud targets.
If Kirsty's story sounds familiar — whether it happened to you, someone you love, or someone you work with — know that you are not alone. It was not your fault.
Next Week on Stolen
This episode is the first of a two-part series. Next week, Dr. Martina Dove joins to analyze Kirsty’s story through the lens of behavioral science. She’ll explain exactly why the tactics that Kirsty’s scammer used were effective, and why no amount of intelligence or awareness makes anyone fully immune.
And if Stolen is helping you understand this crime, please share this episode and leave a review wherever you listen: every new listener is one more person who cannot be taken by surprise.
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Who Is Kirsty Guest?
As a survivor of romance fraud, Kirsty Guest uses her lived experience to support prevention and awareness efforts across the UK through Speak To Be Heard. Having been personally affected by the emotional and financial impact of online relationship scams, she is now committed to helping organizations recognize warning signs, understand fraud tactics, and prevent harm.
Through Speak To Be Heard, she works across corporate, banking, and safeguarding sectors, delivering educational speaking and training to raise awareness of romance fraud. Her focus is on empathy, education, and practical guidance, supporting safer practices and helping protect individuals, employees, and customers from exploitation.
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Sponsors of Stolen
BioCatch prevents financial crime by recognizing patterns in human behavior, continuously collecting 3,000 anonymized data points – keystroke and mouse activity, touch screen behavior, physical device attributes, and more – as people interact with their digital banking platforms. With these inputs, BioCatch's models reveal patterns that distinguish the criminal from the legitimate.
Scamnetic is a leader in AI-powered scam detection and prevention, protecting individuals, businesses, and financial institutions from digital scams. With solutions like KnowScam and IDeveryone, Scamnetic delivers real-time scam insights, identity verification, and intervention. Restoring trust, reducing losses, and empowering organizations to safeguard customers in an increasingly complex digital world.
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